THE PLAN
by LinZE
Summary: Albus has plan – unfortunately for Minerva it doesn’t actually involve him… set during OotP Albus tries to redirect Umbridge’s attention.


**THE PLAN.**

**Disclaimer: **They don't belong to me and if I said otherwise I'd be madder than I already am…

**Summery: **Albus has plan – unfortunately for Minerva it doesn't actually involve him… set during OotP Albus tries to redirect Umbridge's attention.

She couldn't believe that she had ever let Albus talk her into this. Even by his standards this was one of the most barmy and generally ridiculous plans he had ever come up with. _'We need to give our High Inquisitor something else to think about my dear.' _Her supposed best friend had said. _'Something she can really get her teeth into and that will distract her from the Order and the students…' _She had almost seen the logic in this, after all Umbridge had been becoming far too interested in the Order of late for comfort. _'And you know that she'll pick up on anything to do with you…' _He had continued as though he were praising her for this attribute. Now, Minerva couldn't think why she hadn't put her foot down though when he had actually told her the workings of his plan. Come to think of it though, she really couldn't think all that well at all, throwing up repeatedly had that effect on one though. That she had certainly learnt over the last few weeks, to date she had three 'dizzy spells', passed out once and had to excuse herself from the table at some stage almost every day. And that was ignoring that unnerving incident in her third year class the other day when she found herself with tears welling in her eyes after one of her students had a near miss with an accidental human transfiguration. She supposed that she should at least be grateful that whatever magic Albus had weaved on her seem to have some kind of proximity setting – she only got sick when Umbridge was around, even if she couldn't see her, she could predict that the chances were she would have to sweep past her to get to the nearest bathroom. She had been walking past the other woman's classroom when she had actually fainted, obviously hitting the wall on the way down as she seemed to have made enough noise to illicit some interest from inside. She still maintained that this was the worst though.

It had been late-afternoon, the students just having been released from the last class of the day and Minerva had been in the staff-room drinking tea and getting settled to her marking, quite happily blocking out the quiet conversations of the other professors. The familiar 'uhem' signalled that at some stage Umbridge had arrived and obviously felt the need to talk to her.

"Dolores," She greeted with just a hint of warmth, turning in her seat to look at the other witch. "what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to ask your opinion on these – I know you're the paperwork expert around here." Minerva chose to ignore this comment and stood to get a better look at whatever it was that she was supposed to be looking at. As she did however, she had felt her stomach drop ominously, a cold sweat break out across her forehead and if Severus' lingering gaze was anything to go by, the colour must have drained from her cheeks as dramatically as she felt it had. She noticed another set of eyes far closer analysing her and did her best to ignore them and the urge to put her head between her knees, or find the nearest bathroom. "What was it you wanted me to look at?" She asked, trying to sound light, as the growing nausea attempted to override her self-control. She had heard maybe the first three or four words of the other woman's reply before she realised that this episode was in fact going to result in her loosing her lunch if she didn't leave the other woman's presence in short shrift. So, muttering something approximating 'excuse me', she had rushed towards the staff-room toilet.

She might have managed to quell her rebellious stomach, as she had managed on most of the previous occasions, if it were not for the fact that the damned woman had felt it necessary to follow her. Obviously Albus' charm work indicated that if Umbridge was standing outside the door with her ear pressed up against the wood in hope of hearing something, then Minerva's body was going to do the retching. She was gong to kill Albus Dumbledore very, very, very slowly when this was all over. Then she was going to waken him from the dead and do it all over again, twice, she added as she heaved despite knowing there couldn't possibly be anything left in her stomach to expel. But Merlin, did she hate this, she thought, resting her head on the cool porcelain. She might have been sitting there for a minute or an hour, when she heard a knock on the door. She let her head fall back onto her forearm at this, trying to think what she could say. It was all very well for Albus to say _'Just ignore any insinuations_ _she makes, and if she suggests anything outright deny it furiously and try and brush it off as a stomach bug or something.' _ She was relieved from this task however when it was Severus' voice that she heard call softly.

"Are you quite finished Minerva?" His voice was low and quiet and the impatience only minimal. All of a sudden she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The Head of Slytherin entered without being invited and quickly crossed the floor towards her. He crouched down perfunctorily and put a hand against her head as though checking for a temperature. He knew what was going, as did Fillius, Pomona and Poppy so she suspected this was all for show.

"We created a scene outside, so she's out of the way, or at least that's theory." He said quietly handing her a small cup of mouth mash and hitting the flush with the ease of someone who'd had to learn how to deal with sick children over the years.

"Right – think you can stand up?" He asked having handed her a damp flannel with which she had gratefully wiped her face and the back of her neck with.

"I should think so," She replied, levering herself upwards under mostly her own steam.

"Right well, Pomona said she'd go and tell Poppy to expect you."

"Why on earth would she do that?" Minerva asked, her irritation rising despite the fact she still felt considerably off kilter.

"Possibly because you just about passed-out, again, and have just spent the last twenty minutes throwing-up everything but your toenails."

"Well, yes, but we all know why… It's not as if there's actually anything wrong with me…"

"Minerva, you can't see yourself, I don't care what our esteemed and totally ridiculous Headmaster thinks he's up to but it's obviously not good for your health.

"Really?" She retorted in mock revelation.

"Besides, Umbridge would think it decidedly odd if we didn't suggest you at least get checked-out after a performance like that. It's an impressive piece of magic – it's just a shame Albus isn't around to see it." Minerva resisted the urge to roll her eyes. That really was the icing on the cake, Albus had told her of his plan, charmed her and then later that evening been chased out of the school. If she had been a woman of less restraint se would have screamed.

"Come on then…" He urged her, placing a supporting hand on her elbow to help steady her, before leading her back out into the now deserted staff room.

She supposed that at least Albus' plan had seemed to work for the time being, if the number of times she crossed paths with the High Inquisitor was anything to go by. Sighing she realised that there was nothing she could really do until it all blew over, and in the mean time… well she was going to have to think up some outstanding revenge for this little number.

**A/N: **It's late and I'm sleep deprived so I have indulged my obsession with making MM sick grin

Hope you enjoy it – let me know whatever I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading

xLx


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